Insights at 4 months

I think I'm beginning to realize something about our baby; he/she is very much into his/her own timing; : everything happens, but during a space in which the baby feels ready.  The baby does not want to be rushed, kinda like Matt.

Baby Franck was a late implanter.  That means that when the embryo was transferred into my womb, it took longer than expected for him/her to implant into uterine lining, effectively starting a pregnancy.  This was extremely stressful for me as I peed on test after test hoping for the second pink line to show.  I actually thought we were out another IVF cycle until I finally got the positive sign 8 days post transfer.  And when we started tracking the growth via blood work at 10 days post transfer (they want the beta number to double every 2 days, though most people's double more quickly than that), the growth showed that the embryo was just hitting the doubling mark every 48 hours.  I feel like Baby Franck was saying, "I'm here.  I'm fine. Just give me some space and I'll do what I need to do".

At our six week ultrasound, we were hoping for a heartbeat- and a strong one.  A high heartbeat (130 beats/minute) lowers your risk of miscarriage.  Well, we saw the heartbeat, but as our wonderful RE (reproductive endocrinologist, aka fertility dr) put it, it was barely a day old and way too soon to count.  We'd have to wait another week to see how strong our baby was. But again, Baby Franck showed up just enough to let us know that everything was fine and that - in time -  we'd know more.  And the next week we did; we had a super strong heartbeat and his/her growth was right on track.

And then I "graduated" from the RE to a high-risk OB.  Because I'm high-risk, I get a sono about every 2 weeks on average :)  Matt and I get a little too excited for these: we get there super early, Matt brings a  camera/video recorder, we make the technician point out every little thing to us...  But Baby Franck does not see it the same way.  He/she prefers to sleep through most of the ultrasounds and refuses to wake-up.  Yesterday, the baby gave us a "leave me alone" wiggle, but that was it. He/She knows how to give just enough to let us know that he/she's ok then continues to do his/her own thing, namely napping. Not that I can blame the baby; I'm a heavy sleeper and don't like being woken up, either.
It is of no surprise then, that our baby is refusing to give us any clues for the gender. We thought we might get a peek yesterday, but the baby was in the exact opposite position needed to get a look.  Apparently Baby Franck knows what is best and right now it's best not knowing :)  Or maybe the baby's just super modest, like his Grandma Huff who tried to give birth to my older brother wearing her underwear.

Sure, it's a bit frustrating to have a baby who apparently only works on his/her own time.  I'm a planner/organizer and would love to just know everything as soon as possible. In fact, I'm already assuming that our baby is going to be fully competent, but reluctant to follow any set plans.  But I can work with our baby's pace.  I'm just planning on our little bundle to be late... maybe an early July birth??

Matt and I are opposites in this respect, too: I'm a planner and he well, not so much. I measure and plan accordingly and Matt shoots first and asks questions later.  It was tricky earlier on in our relationship to reconcile our different approaches to life, but we've seem to have struck a balance.  He knows that I'm going to bring the 20 page, detailed travel itinerary for our 3-day weekend, and I know that he's going to find something totally wacky and fun that makes us stray from my well thought-out plans.  But thank goodness I made a dinner reservation weeks ago or else we'd be eating Baha Fresh.  

keight dukes  – (January 11, 2010 at 11:15 AM)  

ahahahahah DYING at the story of ellen trying to birth tommy in the under-roos! i am LOVING all your pregnancy and birth and fertility backstory. it makes this little miracle even MORE freaking amazing to me. thank you for being open! and also lol on the baha fresh

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